


Alone

by CokeZero



Series: My Albums A-Z [4]
Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fear of Abandonment, Fear of Relationships, Fights, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 07:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14131542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CokeZero/pseuds/CokeZero
Summary: Eugene never gets too close to anyone and gets scared when he realizes he's allowed himself to have feelings for Zach.





	Alone

Album: Boys and Girls by Alabama Shakes

Song: You Ain’t Alone 

 

_You ain't alone, so why you lonely?_

_there you go on the dark end of the street_

_are you scared to tell somebody how you feel about somebody?_

_are you scared what somebody's gonna think?_

_or_

_are you scared to wear your heart out on your sleeve?_

_are you of scared me?_

_you ain't alone,_

_just let me be your ticket home_

 

* * *

 

 

Eugene never seemed to be alone. He was constantly with friends or strangers that he quickly turned into friends. 

 

But he never let it get too deep or too real. He refused to let people in. 

 

Which is why it was such a shock when Zach got under his skin so easily. 

 

Eugene found himself confessing his deepest fears and secrets to the coworker turned friend turned friends with benefits. The moment he realized he was getting too close to someone, he panicked and broke off communication beyond working on videos together. Their relationship went back to purely professional. 

 

Zach didn’t say anything about it and Eugene was relieved. He didn’t want to hurt Zach by telling him to stay away but he didn’t want to face possibly hurting himself if Zach decided to leave on his own. 

 

Sure, it was lonely, but it was safe, and that was all Eugene cared about. At least, that’s what he told himself. 

 

—

 

There was a knock on his door on a Monday night and he frowned, trying to remember if he ordered something. 

 

He stood and went to it, surprised to find Zach on the other side. He also wished he wasn’t wearing a stained white tee shirt and sweats covered in paint. 

 

“Hey,” he started, putting on a casual facade. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted to talk, you’ve been... weird lately.” 

 

“How so?”

 

“Dude, seriously? We’re fucking for weeks and basically dating just without the title and you blow me off. We need to talk about that. I don’t like not knowing where I stand.”

 

Eugene sighed and let him into his apartment, trying to figure out a way to make this easy on both of them. “I mean, we never labeled anything.”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can just pretend it didn’t happen. You know that makes me feel like shit, right? What are you so scared of?” Zach’s voice was calm, but Eugene knew him better than that. He was radiating anger and hurt and fear and he realized he needed to tell him what was going on. 

 

He swallowed hard and tried to look anywhere but at Zach. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

 

“You think I’m gonna hurt you? What have I done to show that?”

 

“You haven’t done anything, but... everyone leaves! Nothing is permanent, Zach, even if you say it’s going to be. I never know when you’re going to leave.”

 

Zach’s attempts at being calmed disappeared, his fists clenching at his sides. “I’m not the one who stopped what we had. You are. And I’m still fucking here. I’m in love with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“You can’t know that!" He shouted then took a deep breath before continuing, "you can’t know you won’t leave.”

 

“Fine, maybe that’s true,” he took a step closer to Eugene and softened a bit, “but that doesn’t mean I want to be without you. Please, just say you want me, too.”

 

“You know I do, Zach. But that doesn’t mean I can.” 

 

Zach sighed and set his hands on Eugene’s shoulders. “I understand that you’re afraid, I am too. Being hurt sucks. But not having a chance at this would be worse than being left. It’s scary for anyone and I know it’s harder for you because of what you’ve been through. But are you happy like this? Constantly building new walls and keeping everyone out?”

 

Eugene shook his head before he rested his forehead against Zach’s. “No. But it seems better than the alternative.”

 

“Is it really better?” He whispered, rubbing the back of Eugene’s neck with his thumb in soothing circles. 

 

Instead of answering, he decided to take a chance that he knew could cause him pain down the road, but maybe it would be worth the risk. He closed the gap between them and kissed him slow and lovingly. 

 

“Be my boyfriend,” he whispered when they broke apart. 

 

“You mean that?” Zach pulled back to look at Eugene and take in his full expression. 

 

He smiled, nodding. “Yeah. I do.”

 

They kissed again and it felt like coming home. 

**Author's Note:**

> This project will hopefully have an update everyday as I go through my albums alphabetically (I currently own 74). It won't always be the same ship or fandom and each can be read independently.


End file.
